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The sleep tally for me is about 4 hours over the last week. Since last Wednesday (when pill slept through the night) he has slept a total of two hours MAX in his bed without me. And, unfortunately, once he calls me I've been going in there and falling asleep because I'm just so tired. I almost don't see another option other than night-weaning at this point...I want to give him some time of course, but also wanted to be through nursing when he was 2. I guess I'm scared to wean, because what if he sleeps this badly after the milkies are gone, and I have to rock/walk/sing to him for hours? At least I get some marginal sleep this way!

I am blocking Grace's quilt today while my niece is here babysitting pill. It is really hard to quilt by hand. I think I'll try to find a used sewing machine before I attempt another one!

The top 5 books I'd recommend to every new parent (and wish I had enough $$ to buy them for every new parent):

Rachel's Top 5:
Kids are Worth It!
Families Where Grace is in Place
The Christian Parenting and Discipline Book
Biblical Parenting
Unconditional Parenting

Night 5 in his own room and pill slept from 11-7! Yippee!!! I guess God knew how much extra sleep I would need to be able to function today, because I woke up with a bad cold. Anyway...when I realized he was still sleeping and I hadn't been in there all night, I told dh (who was laying in bed trying to put off getting up to take a shower) and we went in there together and just looked at our son sprawled out horizontally across the bed. What a sweet moment...although I did put my hand on his back to make sure he was breathing!

Just had to post that so I could remember that pill did sleep through the night once upon a time! I'm going to go nurse my cold now. I wish my mommy was here to take care of me!

We've made the decision to move D into his own bedroom. Of course, this means that all the crap that's in there now-computer and desk, fullsize keyboard, toddler bed, craft stuff, etc-all has to come out and be put away, somewhere. We really need more space and I can't wait until we can get a house. Our lease is up in August so we'll be moving no matter what then.

Anyway, I have to go and get a baby gate (donated to goodwill before we left CA) and a baby monitor (broken in the move) and some way of making a lamp safe in his room before we move him. I know it's going to be a loooong process...but my thinking is that if we move him now, he identifies with "his room" and he will have another "his room" in our new house. If we don't move him until we leave the apt., we not only have to get him adjusted to a new place, but to the concept of "his room" and I think that could be rather traumatic. So, we'll see. I hate to say we'll be "trying" it, because of the work it involves to get everything moved and settled...but we'll be trying it.

Here is a recent pic of my lil pill...he actually said "one more mommy" and posed himself! Lil stinker. My digital camera got into his hands and won't work now. It's covered in stickiness. Dh is pretty mad at me! I can't imagine what happened, I don't let him play with that thing. I guess I just had it down too low and he got it. Hopefully they can replace it, it's still under warranty (I think, if I can find the owners manual!)

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Well all is finally well in our household, but who knows how long that will last...

Yes, I am up at 2 am, what of it? I got FOUR hours straight sleep! That's somewhat amazing in our house, and I'm feeling fine! Hope D takes 2 naps today, I'll need them as much as he does!

I am doing well on my Slimfast diet...day 4 today! Here's a typical day for me:

Breakfast:
Slimfast shake, 190 cal
Snack:
PB crackers or fruit, no more than 200 cal
Dinner:
1/2 serving (for me) carb, meat, lots of veg, about 700-900 cal
Snack:
1/2 serving fruit, about 80 cal

So about 1400 a day tops. I realized that I've been at the same weight, or thereabouts, for 15 years. That is so incredibly depressing for me. When I see pictures of myself I am just SHOCKED. You want a real eye-opener, watch yourself on video for awhile. Yeah. I am not fluffy or bigboned or thick...I am fat! And I want the fat gone. I would be happy for the rest of my life at the weight I thought fat was in high school...so many painful memories of how I tried to change myself back then due to ridicule from my family. Yes, you read right...my family (not all of them, just the skinny ones for whom weight has never been a problem). My friends never gave a rip and I was wearing a size 10, come on! I remember the "talk" my mom had with me about her concern for my health. At the time, I was 18 pounds above the ideal body weight (based on insurance charts at the time) and was just heading off to college.

Parents don't realize the things they do that are so hurtful, that stick with kids all of their lives. I'm reading a book right now called Kids are Worth It! and it is such an eye opener. I think I might review it on my blog, not that I am so learned that I can disect this book, but just because I want to reflect on it more deeply.

Day 12 of the 30 day challenge coming up. The days with words of affirmation, in which I specifically thank hubby for doing or being a certain way, go much better than days without. I am realizing how much he needs this...and how much I do not and have not ever given this type of encouragement. Criticism just comes naturally to me...I am hardest on myself but I don't cut those around me any slack either. God is really working on me about this! I truly wish to have a meek and quiet spirit without losing who I am in the process. I believe He is able.