Well all is finally well in our household, but who knows how long that will last…
Yes, I am up at 2 am, what of it? 
I got FOUR hours straight sleep! That’s somewhat amazing in our house, and I’m feeling fine! Hope D takes 2 naps today, I’ll need them as much as he does!
I am doing well on my Slimfast diet…day 4 today! Here’s a typical day for me:
Breakfast:
Slimfast shake, 190 cal
Snack:
PB crackers or fruit, no more than 200 cal
Dinner:
1/2 serving (for me) carb, meat, lots of veg, about 700-900 cal
Snack:
1/2 serving fruit, about 80 cal
So about 1400 a day tops. I realized that I’ve been at the same weight, or thereabouts, for 15 years. That is so incredibly depressing for me. When I see pictures of myself I am just SHOCKED. You want a real eye-opener, watch yourself on video for awhile. Yeah. I am not fluffy or bigboned or thick…I am fat! And I want the fat gone. I would be happy for the rest of my life at the weight I thought fat was in high school…so many painful memories of how I tried to change myself back then due to ridicule from my family. Yes, you read right…my family (not all of them, just the skinny ones for whom weight has never been a problem). My friends never gave a rip and I was wearing a size 10, come on! I remember the “talk” my mom had with me about her concern for my health. At the time, I was 18 pounds above the ideal body weight (based on insurance charts at the time) and was just heading off to college.
Parents don’t realize the things they do that are so hurtful, that stick with kids all of their lives. I’m reading a book right now called Kids are Worth It! and it is such an eye opener. I think I might review it on my blog, not that I am so learned that I can disect this book, but just because I want to reflect on it more deeply.
Day 12 of the 30 day challenge coming up. The days with words of affirmation, in which I specifically thank hubby for doing or being a certain way, go much better than days without. I am realizing how much he needs this…and how much I do not and have not ever given this type of encouragement. Criticism just comes naturally to me…I am hardest on myself but I don’t cut those around me any slack either. God is really working on me about this! I truly wish to have a meek and quiet spirit without losing who I am in the process. I believe He is able.
