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I must upload this picture...everyone tells me how beautiful pill is and I think this proves it!
Of course I couldn't get one of him smiling, I was explaining something to him and this is pretty much his perpetual expression. 
Start with the nightweaning first!
Monday-April 24th-First night
Getting D to bed was rough. He didn't go down until 12:30. He woke up once during the night and fussed for a few minutes. I shushed him and reassured him I was still there, cuddled up to him and let him feel the milkies to make sure there were still there, too. He went back to sleep and slept until 10:30!
Total wakeups: ONE Total sleep:TEN HOURS
Tues April 25th-Second Night
Got D to bed at 10:15 or so. He woke up 3 times between then and 6:30 when we were rudely awakened by not-so-Dh looking for socks to wear to work. The good news is, he made scarcely a fuss at not having milkies to go back to sleep. I'm cautiously optimistic that this might be easier than I thought!
Total wakeups: THREE Total sleep: EIGHT HOURS
Wednesday April 26th-Third Night
D was ready for bed at 8:30, due to the fact that we ran him around the playground for a couple of hours. He woke up about midnight and cried for about a minute, went back to sleep. Woke up at 4ish, cried for 3-4 minutes all the while pushing my hand away while I was attempting to pat him. Keep in mind-I'm still in the same bed with him! He's just mad because I'm not nursing him. Anyway, he did fall back to sleep after 5 min. or so. We were up at 6:30 because dh couldn't find his socks and decided to barge in and make a lot of noise. ARGH!Total wakeups: TWO Total sleep:NINE HOURS AND A FEW MINUTES 
Thursday April 27th-Fourth Night
Thursday's are tough because I have practice so I'm never home until 10 or so. He was bushed, and had a lot of physical activity as well so I thought he'd sleep well. He went right to sleep, woke up after about an hour and kept waking up every hour or so. Then he was in a deep sleep and I had a terrible dream, went to get dh and made him sleep with us which was a bad idea because neither of us like sleeping with 3 of us in the bed anymore. Anyway, pill slept okay but woke up and I gave him milkies to try to be nice to dh. I shouldn't have because dh said he didn't sleep for beans anyway. Oh well. I hope tonight won't be like starting all over again.
Total wakeups: FOUR Total sleep: Maybe SIX HOURS
Friday April 28th-Fifth Night
Can't remember what happened...it's all a blur, really. I just know that we woke up at 9:31 a.m. and I felt rested! I guess it's good if I can't remember-it means I've slept all night right?
Saturday April 29th-Sixth Night
Put D to bed at 9:30 ish, he woke at 11 and went right back to sleep once I went in there to soothe him, woke at 12 and looked around and then flopped down on the bed, and that was it until 7:45 when I had to wake him up to get ready for church.
Total wakeups: TWO Total sleep for me: SIX HOURS (I went to bed late, naughty naughty)
Sunday April 30th-Seventh Night
We got the bright idea to move D's real bed into our bedroom so dh and I could sleep together. D went down at about 10:30 (yikes), woke up at 12:30 and 4:00. Couldn't get him back to sleep at 4:00 so dh switched beds and got on the small one while I put D on the big one with me. Then he slept until 10:30 am.
Total wakeups: TWO Total sleep:TEN HOURS
Monday May 1-Eighth Night
What a terrible night of sleep. First of all, I have a major headache from (I guess) caffeine withdrawal. Hadn't realized I had a caffeine addiction AGAIN but I guess I did. So, D went to sleep in his own bed at 9:00, woke up at 11:00, 12:15, and 12:45 at which point dh got fed up and moved to the small bed while D got to sleep in the big bed. He slept until 5:15 and then was up again for the day!!! and I couldn't get him back to sleep no matter what. I even nursed him, in desperation, which didn't work. So I got up with him and he didn't go back to sleep for a nap until 8:30, and slept for 3 hours (with me right next to him sleeping too!) So, the worst night yet. I think it was because I was feeling so bad yesterday that we just vegged all day-no exercise. Can't excuse it any other way. Here's hoping tonight will be much, much better.
Total wakeups: FOUR Total sleep:SIX HOURS and a few minutes
Tuesday May 2-Ninth Night
Well this night was a little different, because D started throwing up at about 5 pm and threw up every 30 minutes or so until 1 a.m. Needless to say, I nursed him whenever he wanted but he threw up everything that went in his mouth. He's still throwing up (Wednesday) so I don't have super high hopes that tonight will be any different. Interestingly enough, he didn't ask to nurse at all once we got in bed. I find that kind of strange, but hopeful that maybe he is 'getting it' that milkies don't come until daylight. Puke is my least favorite bodily fluid so I am just recouperating at the keyboard right now while dh takes over for an hour or so.
Total wakeups: NONE (once we got to bed at 1 am) Total sleep: SIX HOURS and 15 minutes
Wednesday May 3-Tenth Night
Still puking...got to bed at 2 a.m. and slept until 9:15 without nursing. Threw up all over the bed, yippee. We are going to have to burn all of our furniture at this point. Poor little guy.
Thursday May 4-Eleventh Night
Still puking, and added diarrhea. Lovely. I think we are going to have to start all over with nightweaning. Got about 4 hours of sleep in between puke/poop sessions. He's cranky and cantankerous and won't eat or drink much of anything. I hope this is over soon!
The time has come to wean D. Now, I'm not doing this because I "want my boobs back" or anything like that. I had planned to let him tell me when he was through. If you're surprised by that, you don't know me very well! But...2 factors have changed my mind. The first and most important factor is that I have a lot of weight to lose, and adult onset diabetes runs in my family. Having seen what diabetes has done to my father in law, I definitely don't want to get this disease just because I like to eat the wrong kinds of food. So, I have to get some serious weight off. I've wanted to do this for the last year and a half, but refused to wean D to do so. Yes, I could go on Weight Watchers and lose a pound a week. But I have over 100 pounds to lose and I need to do something a little bit more drastic. That isn't healthy when I'm nursing a child. Reason #1.
Reason #2 is that D is still waking up between 2-8x a night to nurse. He wakes up briefly, very briefly, but it wakes me up. Sometimes I know he's hungry when I put him to bed, but he refuses to eat knowing he's going to nurse all night. Fine with a baby, but I'm having a hard time dealing with my 2 year old still doing it. There's also the factor of dh not being able to sleep with us because D is up so much. We want D in his own bed, but I end up spending most of the night in there with him because he's constantly nursing. I think he will sleep through the night when there are no more milkies to be had. Moving him into his own bed will be another issue, but easier to tackle that when there isn't "incentive" to remain in mom's bed.
I am sadder than I thought possible over the thought of losing this incredible, special bond with my son. I fought to breastfeed him and here I am voluntarily stopping it. It's for the best, but I will miss it.
Here's a picture of my baby boy dyeing eggs this year. He did a great job!
Ah, it's Easter Sunday. A time to relax, eat chocolate, hide some eggs for my 2 year old to find. Luckily, our church had Good Friday services so I actually got to sleep in until 8:45 this morning rather than getting up at 7 in a mad dash to get to practice. D was so cute looking for the eggs. He chewed up a gummi bear that he found in the first egg, and then gave it back to me once he saw the m&m's in the 2nd egg. Go figure, he likes chocolate. Can't imagine why?!
I'm a little sad today as I am on every Easter. My dad died the day before Easter, 1996. Ten years ago. He never got to see me graduate from college, or walk me down the aisle. He never got to see D or hold him, even once. It's still so poignant to me. I miss him. His huge hands. His Irish wit and the matching temper. The way he pushed his glasses far down his nose and made silly faces at me.
I'm also sad because my sister has decided to shut me out of her life, or so it seems. I wrote her a letter last week because I am so concerned about her son. He's been suspended over 10 times since coming to Michigan; he has ADHD and just tested out at an 80 IQ. Well, she has pretty much done everything possible to forget that he's in her life. She's rarely around and when she does communicate with him, she's usually yelling or shaming him. So I wrote her a letter saying he would be better off living with someone who understood people with disabilities (my brother, who has a disability himself and is also a special education professor) and who could be consistent, patient, yet firm with her son. She hasn't talked to me since, and we live right across the hall from each other. I fear that she will begin talking to people at church to turn them against me...it is just like her to do that. But I can't worry about that, because it needed to be said. I will go on record that I tried to fight for him, and when he does something really bad-which he will if this situation doesn't change-at least she can't tell me no one told her.
That's all for this Easter Sunday. We are going to Marc/Angells house for dinner, then to our friends the Seidels for another dinner afterwards. Lots of dinner today. Should be fun!
For anyone who reads this blog, please pray for dh's cousin. She's gone into labor 9 weeks early, her little one is really not prepared to cope with life on the outside right now so they are trying to stop her labor for 10 days and then deliver Lorelei then. Add to that scariness the fact that Amber has pre-e and they think her cord may prolapse...and she's only 21 living 8 hours away from her mom. Only her 21 year old husband who works 80+ hours a week to help her. Please pray!
eta: Lorelei was delivered safely and spent 2 wks in the hospital before going home. Amber was UTB (unable to bf'd) as her milk supply never really came in and I'm sure the stress didn't help. Mom and baby are doing fine.
