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I didn't get the job.

I don't understand why God didn't want me to have it...I went through 2 interviews and 3 days of deliberations and countless references singing my praises and they still picked the other person.

Lest I sound spoiled, let me say that this is the first time EVER that I have interviewed for a position I didn't get. So, I'm shocked and upset because this job could have meant financial freedom for dh and me.

The only doubt I have as to why I didn't get it is whether I could've quit a job that paid so well. I don't want to be a secretary all my life. I don't want to come back to secretarial work after my 2nd baby is born...I want to be a published author by then. If I'd gotten this job it would've been very, very hard to quit to raise a 2nd child or move out of state, just because it was so cushy. Not getting it inspires me to get my MA and get the heck outta Dodge, Dodge being secretarial work. So in that respect I think it's a good thing and I am beginning to come to terms with it. Financially it's crushing that I'm taking a job paying 8K less a year.

Let's see, in the last 6 days since I posted, dh has come and gone, $400 has been spent at after T-giving sales (not bad buying for the whole entire family), I have personally consumed 3 lbs of turkey and 2 lbs of ham as well as endless mashed potatoes, gravy, pie, rolls, and other side items, been offered a job that I don't want, have NOT been offered a job that I do want (I'm supposed to hear whether I got it by this afternoon), and we are definitely moving to VA.

Dh has finally decided that this is the place for awhile. I think the 70 degree weather yesterday had something to do with it, and the fact that he already has a job waiting for him when he gets here. Lucky duck! I posted his resume on monster.com and what do you know-he already met and interviewed with a placement agency and will start the Monday after he moves down here.

Other than all that stuff, life is pretty boring. Which is to say that it's never boring around here! If I don't get the job I do want, I will start Monday morning bright and early in the other job. That will be hard on D and for that and many other reasons, I'm hoping to be selected at the other department. I can't do anything to change it so it's out of my hands.

Two interviews on Monday, one new, one to meet the Dept. Chair and see if he likes me. I expect to be grilled so I'm brushing up on my Office Suite skills this weekend. I really, really hope this job is God's will for me. Not only can they meet what I was asking for as salary requirement, but there is room for raises in their payscale. I hate to think it's all about money, but at this point, it is.

The new interview is with the medical campus and they pay less. I think they would be less picky about my skills but they also pay less.

Of course, I am really thinking, "what if I got into the first job and loved it, when do I get pregnant again?" I really wanted to deliver #2 before D's 4th birthday, but it's looking like it might be his 5th birthday at this point. I will leave it in God's hands!

Ds woke up from his nap today and gave me a big sweet smile. Just as my heart was melting and I was thinking about how I would miss these naps together after he was weaned, he said,