a hippy chick

Please don’t read this post if you are easily offended or one of those people that thinks TMI is possible.

In the process of trying to work on my marriage, I am making compromises that dh cannot even fathom. For example, I am having sex with him on a regular basis even though I don’t want to and am pretty bored by the whole thing, actually. Here’s how it went last night afterwards:

H: Wow, that was great.

Me: Un huh. Actually, I’m pissed that after 8 years you still can’t find my vagina and blindly stab around until you land in there. And I’m furthermore pissed that you never think to try to find it any other way than with that bludgeoning tool you like so much. And I’m even furthermore pissed that you think it is GREAT, when we’ve used the same 3 positions for the last 8 years. Just how much of this do you think I can take anyway? Read the Kama Sutra or something.

Me: We should read the Kama Sutra or something.

H: (sleepily) Yeah. I doubt they could teach us anything we don’t know! (pokes me)

Me: Stony silence while pretending to go to sleep.

And there you have it my friends. I admit here and now that I have faked many more orgasms than I have actually had.  He just won’t do it my way even though we have talked about it endlessly. At bottom, he is a guy in his 20s and just wants to get the thing in and get R done and go to sleep. There is no work or foreplay or anything involved. Although, if he read this, and that’s always a possibility since he knows this blog exists and I can’t figure out how to move it, he would tell you that he is a considerate lover and he has done plenty to get me in the mood. Especially last night. Yes, because he actually kissed me last night, and more than once, before trying to stick his whammy in me.

For a long time I thought it was my body issues that kept me from enjoying sex with him. After last night, I realize I am just bored and that he hasn’t developed past what he was 8 years ago. And I need more. Sometimes it would be nice to have music or candlelight; sometimes, how about even one time, it would be nice to have a considerable amount of preparation involved before the big hurrah. I’d like to try tantric sex. I need positions that are not our old standby. That’s the only way I can muster enough enthusiasm to keep trying this over and over until he is happy.

Okay, all through with the TMI. It’s a long holiday weekend, which in our house is always a dangerous thing. I want to go places and spend money; he wants to hang out and drink beer. Lil pill ends up watching much more TV than he should, I end up cleaning the house by myself, and Mr. A ends up surfing the internet and posting pictures of our son on his my space page. Three days off! woo hoo