a hippy chick

1.  Your addiction to looking at other women.  I wish you’d cover your tracks a little better.

2.  The constant turning off of lights the second after I’ve turned them on.

3.  “Let’s go, let’s move!” shouted every.single.morning, usually followed by some choice words.

4.  The way you stick the entire butter dish in the microwave, which turns the nicely softened butter into a congealed lump of goo.  Pointless and unnecessary.

5.  The baby powder ritual in the morning.  Any more info and it’s waaay TMI.

6.  Constant negotiation over the smallest things, like loading the dishwasher a certain way or not putting the hot skillet in the sink.  Why can’t you just let me do it the way I want to?

7.  Endless demands for/guilt trips about/crude references to s.e.x.

8.  The way you make yourself dinner and don’t ever think of asking lil pill or me if we’re hungry.  The way you criticize me for not making dinner for you more often.

9.  That you’ve made lil’ pill cry at least once every day for the last month.

10.  Your (often voiced) opinion that I’ve never been good enough/happy enough/smart enough/pretty enough/thin enough/ghetto enough/ambitious enough and if only I would change myself, you’d be the perfect mate.

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I won’t be able to post this weekend.  Please wish me luck getting settled and making it through the night alone despite all my phobias of strangers breaking in to kill me! Oh, you didn’t know about that?  Anyway…I will be back on Monday with an update.